Andrew O’Neill’s History of Heavy Metal

Smiley 12 February 2018

So, I’ve just found out that you can divide the world, and everything in it, under one of two subheadings - things that are metal, and things that are Goth. And this works with anything. Take kitchen implements, for example. A fork is a very metal item of kitchenware, whereas a whisk is, to quote Andrew O’Neill, “Goth as fuck”. This concept will immediately make perfect sense to some of you reading this. “How have I not seen it before?” you’ll be asking yourselves. Others of you, however, won’t have a clue what I’m talking about.

And that’s why this show is so important, people. It’s staggering just how many people in this country go about their daily lives with no idea about where grindcore started, how the Beatles inspired Cannibal Corpse’s album covers, or why it’s so difficult to be a Metallica fan these days (SIT DOWN LARS!). Hell, this show should be mandatory before you can go to your first metal gig. Not in a pass-or-fail exclusionary sense, but more like an introduction into the wide and wondrous world of heavy metal, with Andrew O’Neill as some kind of long haired Willy Wonka, taking you down the chocolaty river of riffs… or something.

Anyway, the show started with support from local band Hedra, who gave a high energy, brutal performance. Next up was Reprisal, who impressed the crowd with their thrashy-yet-fresh sounding set, and then it was time for the main event.

I’d seen the show before, but this time was different. This time Andrew was joined on stage by a full band, featuring members from earlier support band Reprisal, and it was glorious. Together they played a virtuoso performance as they took us riff by riff through snippets of songs all the way from Black Sabbath to Mayhem. Again, if you don’t know much about metal that probably won’t initially sound like much of a spectrum, but a) that’s exactly why you need to see this show, and b) it is. And it was very, very clever. It was also very, very funny, and that’s the main reason to see the show. Because much like heavy metal, there’s something for everyone. Whether it’s which member of Iron Maiden looks like Helen Lederer, or which band fooled the entire music scene into wearing fetish gear for a whole generation before they realised, education has never been so funny.