Taken 2 // Preview Screening

Smiley and Jay Freeman attend the preview screening of 'Taken 2' just for you readers, to give you the lowdown on the Liam Neeson sequel...

13:00 – Mission start time. Arrive at train station armed with a Tesco meal deal, some beers and, my trusted companion Dr Freeman. Board train for London, take a table seat near window.

13:05 - We enthusiastically began discussing what we liked about the first film (Liam Neeson killing bad guys), what we hope will return in the sequel (Famke Janssen) and how would Neeson kill a carriage full of people on a train using only the emergency hammer, a train ticket and a half eaten cheese and pickle sandwich.

13:25 – Change train carriage due to overly loud and enthusiastic description of train-carriage massacre upsetting other passengers.

15:00 – Arrive at Liverpool Street Station. Rendezvous time is 18:30 at the screening (STRICTLY no late-comers). Decide to try to “do a Neeson” and navigate using the sun and the stars to find our destination. Neither available as it is a typical British afternoon. Switch to using landmarks, then head in the wrong direction for a while toward a man in a basket fixing street lights (to be fair to Dr Freeman, the guy did look like Lord Nelson). Switch to using Google Maps.

16:00 – Stop half way in pub to discuss film, specifically the disadvantages of going out with a girl whose father is ex-CIA. Discuss possibility we already have! They say it’s always the ones you least expect, and we decide that this is exactly why Liam Neeson was a surprisingly credible tough guy in the original – he looks normal. Ok, he’s no short-arse, but he’s far from Stallone, Schwarzenegger or even Statham. Gone are the days when it’s anything other than laughable to see someone like Arnie cut his way through a plethora of bad guys, a la Commando, to rescue his daughter. People demand more believability these days and so what you have here is a more Bourne-esque character. A secret agent with tactics and skills that allow him to blend in, gain the upper hand in the face of superior numbers and take out the villains (ruthlessly, I might add) despite them having the home advantage. We want to see the good guys win, but we want it to be legit.

18:00 – Leave pub. Just enough time for some Taken 2 puns on the way.

18:05 – Tell the guy at the burger stall that “I will grind you, and I will grill you” in the worst Irish accent ever and ask confused looking barman if he was “Taken the piss” then it’s go-time.

18:29 – Arrive at the cinema perfectly on time. Hand over smart-phones and replace with bottles of free beer (thank you 20th Century Fox). Find seats with everybody else, and sit amongst the buzz of slightly pissed reviewers as the giant face of Liam Neeson comes on screen to introduce the film. The lights go out and we begin.

21:00 – Leave the cinema with our mission a success, immediate evac back to the pub for contemplation. Let’s talk good points. The film starts promisingly and all of the essential elements seem to be in place. Exotic location – how about Istanbul? Family members in danger – what about his ex-wife AND his daughter? Crazy foreign nutcase – It’s only the father of the Albanian human trafficker he left wired up to the mains in the first film!

Everybody knows that a sequel needs a twist, and this time it’s Liam and his ex-wife that are taken in revenge for his actions in the first movie, leaving his daughter (played again by Maggie Grace) to locate them and aid in the escape, which is at least as believable as any other sequel-set-up in this genre. The action is good, Famke and Liam have good chemistry and work well on screen together. The initial kidnapping is tense and well directed. It is after this that things unfortunately start to go awry.

The film swings, in places, between hilariously over-the-top and blandly derivative. Gone are the clever plans and techniques (remember in the original when he uses the photos on her phone to back-track her movements, etc) and instead we have a locked up Neeson instructing his daughter to start throwing hand grenades (who doesn’t pack them on a family holiday) from a roof so he can work out where he is using a shoelace, etc, etc.

Once he’s out, it’s time to get the daughter to safety before returning for this year’s dullest showdown. The villain has his evil in the right place, but is only any kind of a real threat to Liam’s girls. As soon as they are safe, it’s basically Liam Neeson kicking the living shit out of a 60-year old Albanian and all his mates in the dullest, one-sided final fight I’ve ever seen. Directed by Oliver Megaton (Transporter 3) a man usually as subtle as his own surname, he seems to have been constantly reeled in leaving large pitfalls of disappointment in the action. It’s not his fault either – that’s what he does well, see Red Siren or Columbiana for proof. It’s a bit like ordering a pizza, then complaining because you didn’t want something to eat with a lot of cheese on it!

This will appeal to fans of action as a whole, and not so much to those people who were surprised that they liked the first one – this is the film you thought that one was going to be when you begrudgingly joined the cinema queue. I missed that element from this one. On the bright side, however, the acting is good, the effects are solid, the locations are stunning and the film is well shot. See it if you are a fan of that sort of thing, or have just had a daughter and want some tips on ‘extreme parenting’ Neeson style.

Smiley