STILL HOUSE PLANTS

Let’s get the disclaimers out of the way. Music is a very personal things. Everyone is entitled to their own tastes. I genuinely believe that there is no such thing as bad music, just music I don’t enjoy. And I am afraid that STILL HOUSE PLANTS fall very firmly into the box marked “music I don’t enjoy”.  

Vocalist Jess Hickie-Kallenbach, guitarist Finlay Clark and drummer David Kennedy began making music together over a decade ago. Depending on what source you rely on, they have released either three or five LPs, the most recent being 2024’s If I Don’t Make It, I Love U, which received positive reviews from the varied likes of Stereogum, The Quietus, The Guardian and Pitchfork. 

So, before tonight, I was vaguely aware of the name but I had never listened to Still House Plants. As a fairly last minute substitute reviewer, I had not had the chance to do my usual preparation or research. 

There are elements of Yoko Ono, Kim Gordon’s work both solo and with Body/Head, Slits and NY no wave. Most of all, however, they remind me of a slowed down, bass and sax-free Cravats. A good friend whose judgement I trust likes them. On that basis, I should at least like what the band do. But I don’t. Hickie-Kallenbach wails her lyrics like she is in agony. Clark plays chords and patterns both at a glacial pace and with seemingly little variation. Kennedy clatters away at his kit in a way that I suspect displays great free-jazz inspired technique. None of these factors are necessarily bad things but, for me, the individual elements just don’t gel into anything approaching a cohesive whole. 

I often say that the worst music is that which doesn’t move me in any way, which is bland to the point of being the aural equivalent of magnolia paint. Still House Plants’ music at least provoked a reaction in me and the visceral dislike is better than indifference. No doubt they are nice people who are passionate about what they do. I wish them well but I can’t imagine that I will cross paths with them again.